Celebrating Life: Springing Through the Many Changes in Life

Springing Through the Many Changes in Life

Boomers and their parents have lived through many personal changes in life. Some of these have been happy occasions that included going to school, getting your first job, falling in love, bearing children, and perhaps enjoying grandchildren. As a group you have watched a man land on the moon and technology become so sophisticated that you can receive pictures of your loved ones from anywhere in the world transmitted instantaneously over the internet.

In the midst of these wonderful changes you may also have experienced the loss of a job and/or the loss of a loved one. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross observed that there are four stages of change you go through when you experience the loss of a loved one.

As downsizing, mergers and closures swept the workplace, researchers such as Cynthia Scott and Dennis Jaffe observed that you experience similar stages of change to those of losing a loved one.

You may grieve the loss of a job just as you grieve the loss of a loved one. So what are these four stages?

Initially you just cannot believe this has happened to you. Shock and fear set in as you begin to worry about what this means in the future to you. You’ll be distracted and withdrawn. You really need to talk to others and express your fears.
Often resistance rears its ugly head. Depression, anger and frustration overtake you. You may even begin expressing your anger at your loved one or at the company that “did this to you”. You will be unfocused, possibly accident prone and even ill. You need to start focusing on what you can do about your situation.
You may then begin to get used to the change. You will still be stressed. Your energy level will pick up. Although your thinking will continue to be unfocused and somewhat chaotic you will start saying “I wonder…..”. You need to talk with others and take the time to de-stress.
Finally you will accept that the change has occurred, and you begin to focus your energies on what you must do. You accept that the change has made a difference in your life. Your productivity is higher and you begin to look at setting new long term goals for yourself.

With the support of family, friends and perhaps some experts (e.g. counsellors) you can get through these stages of change and move on into a new life.

(Article submitted by Kate Jones, Kate Jones & Associates). Kate can be contacted at 905.825.1456 or by email.

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